Are your holiday lights racist?

A growing, nay, a burgeoning concern among such as the Not-So-Sharptons.

“The dominance of white lights is clearly a hidden and coded [and, let’s not forget, conservative Republican] display of racism and white, heterosexual dominance. I am ashamed [at] this near universal display of racism. I call for a ban of white holiday lights, and for a return to the proper, diverse multicolored lights of the recent past!”

Smash the power and get with the program, comrade.