Category Archives: Mrs. Charm

In the chemo ward

You might think the chemotherapy ward would make the cancer center’s waiting room look jolly. In fact, little of the latter’s trepidation is apparent in the former.

Probably because most of the people being infused through plastic tubes attached to hanging plastic bags of toxic chemicals are the lucky ones. If the chemo isn’t working to kill their cancers they don’t stay for long. Their docs can spot success or failure pretty quick. So smiles are more common than not. Even if the stuff does play hell with the body.

First-timers like Mrs. Charm are placed near the front where the nurses and techs hover about solicitously. Sometime after her first hour, we found out why. Mrs. C. got chills so bad her teeth were chattering. The nurses brought blankets and eased the flow back a notch or two. When the chills subsided without any serious effects, they moved it back up. There were no more chills.

The room wasn’t crowded the day we were there. Most of the patients were middle-aged, as you would expect, about evenly divided between men and women. But there was one man in his eighties and two women in their twenties. Primary care givers got chairs to sit beside their patients.

The hairless ones were identifiable by their hats or scarves. Hair loss usually begins after the second cycle, which comes after about four weeks of recovery from the first infusion. The chemo attacks dividing cells and it can’t discriminate between cancer cells and healthy ones. Cells at the roots of hair follicles seem to be particularly vulnerable.

After Mrs. C.’s six hours of infusion, she pronounced herself feeling “better than I have in a long time.” Ninety-six hours later (including another six hours of blood transfusions and a quick shot of white-blood cells) she tires easily and is a little puffy at the ankles. Her sense of taste and smell have turned finicky. Her recurrent fever of the past few weeks, however, has happily disappeared.

So there’s hope at the Rancho. We’ll get the doc’s early verdict on progress next week. If it’s as positive as Mrs. C. feels she’ll be among the lucky ones who get to continue in the chemo ward—hair loss and all.

Friends in need

Blog friends here and in Israel have offered their prayers and, for those who don’t believe, good thoughts and good advice. Three (so far) of Mrs. Charm’s work friends have brought cooked meals and lingered for morale-building visits. And, of course, the good family phone calls and emails keep rolling in.

We watched (and participated in) this process with one of Mrs. C.’s best friends, who died of a brain tumor several years ago, after lengthy, debilitating bouts of surgery, chemo and radiation. All to no avail. Her advice then was to accept all offers gratefully when first made. Because they might fade away as the well try to distance themselves from the unwell. Indeed, some who faded away were among her oldest friends.

Which is not criticism, really, just reality. The healthy understandably do not like being confronted with their own mortality which they know down deep inside is sure to get them, too, in the end. I think it’s somewhat easier for a combat veteran, having faced mortality every day for months at a stretch. It became a habit to think about it daily ever after.

I remember bringing jelly beans to a good guy dying of AIDS back in the 80s when I was reporting the epidemic for the daily. It pained him to chew and swallow the colorful bean-shaped candies but he’d always loved them and he wanted them at his end. He died a few days later, happier, I hope, for his last handfuls of jelly beans.

UPDATE: Twenty-two additional work friends plan to bring cooked meals and visit with Mrs. C, in a morale-building display of their affection for her.

The wallet biopsy

Yesterday’s bone-marrow biopsy for Mrs. C. only lasted five minutes but the setup, and the recovery from the “twilight” painkiller took several hours. And before she even was taken to surgery, the business office came to call.

Insurance, apparently, agreed to pick up 80 percent of the hospital’s costs but we paid the rest, and the wallet biopsy took precedence to the medical one. Can’t blame them. Nobody (except government) is in business to lose money.

Still to come, of course, are the costs charged by the doctor and nurses and drugs and etcetera. And more for today’s PET scan which looks to take most of the afternoon.

We get Wednesday off, then it’s back to the grind on Thursday. All this to decide whether (and how) chemo actually begins next week. Fight cancer, the unaffected always insist. If they only knew how wearying it is before the fight even begins.

Tentative smiles at the cancer center

Tentative smiles, that is, among the patients. The staff smiles until you wonder if their faces will crack open and their mouths fill with blood. We primary care-givers also smile tentatively, keying on our patients.

I’m a primary care-giver now that Mrs. Charm has been diagnosed with Stage III Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma, DLBCL. Tentatively. Still awaiting results of this morning’s bone-marrow biopsy and this week’s PET scan to make sure it isn’t some other type of lymphoma. The lymphoma part is definite.

Infusion port to be installed in her upper chest soon for the chemo to begin (tentatively) week of Oct. 6. Drill thereafter is one six-hour day of infusion of R-CHOP (unlovely acronym) followed by three weeks of recovery.

Then another six hours of toxic infusions and so on for (ideally) about six months. Otherwise Mrs. C will not be among the 55-70 percent for whom R-CHOP works (for at least two years, hopefully longer) and then it will be on to the radiation and, probably even more tentative smiles as the burning further diminishes her health.

There’s little joy in Mudville, i.e. Rancho Roly Poly, these days. Mr. Boy (a new high school freshman) and I are hanging (appropriate word) in there. Tentatively.

Sunscreen too “toxic” for San Antonio

I’ve always thought it rather silly the way Texas mothers slathered on the sunscreen whenever their little darlings ventured into the sun, noonday or otherwise, all in the name of preventing skin cancer. Going the pioneers one better: they only wore long woolen trousers and shirts and broad-brimmed hats to keep their skin pristine.

But troglodyte that I am, I grew used to sunscreen as Mrs. Charm joined the crowd with young Mr. B, starting in pre-school and continuing to the present and his status as a rising high school freshman. Little did she know. The second-largest public school district in San Antonio has now banned sunscreen as “dangerous.”

“Sunscreen is a toxic substance, and we can’t allow toxic substances to be in our school[s],” said North East Independent District spokesperson Aubrey Chancellor. “They could possibly have an allergic reaction [or] they could ingest it. It’s really a dangerous situation.”

Which suggests to me that either the threat of skin cancer was overblown all along or the school district really does deserve its Nanny-of-the-Month award from Reason Magazine.

My recital

My first fiddle recital came off pretty good. I got through the one piece I had memorized thoroughly (having practiced it at least a hundred times) just fine and only momentarily got lost in the second, less-memorized one (dueting with another adult learner) and was able to find a place where I could jump back in.

Teacher was happy, but I expected him to be. He tends to exaggerate my progress, but, as Mrs. Charm says, “Would you rather he criticized you all the time?” Of course not. I just get suspicious when I’m always “awesome” and “excellant.” Of course some sort of criticism usually follows.

Fortunately, Mrs. C. videoed excerpts with her iPhone, so I got to see two problems that need correcting. I was hunched over as if trying to hide behind the music stand and it was as if my poor bow had shrunk to a few inches long I was using so little of it. “More bow, more bow,” the everlasting fiddle teacher reminder.

The best part was the adolescent Mr. Boy whom Mrs. C. decided to drag along, grumbling all the way, to get him there. He later complimented me and exclaimed that he had “really enjoyed it,” apparently struck dumb that it could have been anything but more boring adult shite.

So it was worth it and I’ll do it again in the fall and from now on if allowed.

The VA scandal

I like to read the Wall Street Journal’s Best of The Web Today, which yesterday had a good rejoinder to one Democrat’s questionable concern:

“‘As troubling as some of these allegations are, this controversy presents an opportunity for the administration,’ Waldman continues. ‘This isn’t some kind of phony scandal like Benghazi: it’s a real issue with real consequences.’

“Christopher Stevens could not be reached for comment.”

These VA scandals come and go. The hospitals were not originally intended to treat all veterans exclusively but only those unable to pay for their health care. Nowadays, the pols are sending many career retirees to the VA on top of everyone else and the load, of course, is overwhelming.

Mrs. Charm always says “Go get your free hearing aids.” I never have because I can afford to buy them and don’t want to add to the problems of those veterans who can’t.