The usual shrill babble and punchy trailer clips are flogging John Carter, Disney’s remake of Edgar Rice Burrough’s 1917 novel Princess of Mars, but it looks like a kiddie combo of Hercules and Avatar.
The bad guys burn coal, you see, and are damaging the Martian atmosphere. Uh oh. John Carter is a Confederate soldier mysteriously transported to Mars. There he engages in a lot of sword play, some love scenes steamy enough for 14-year-old boys, and I’ll bet more than a few ecology speeches about sustainability and global warming. Face palm.
THE TEXAS SCRIBBLER 