Tag Archives: confronting mortality

Friends in need

Blog friends here and in Israel have offered their prayers and, for those who don’t believe, good thoughts and good advice. Three (so far) of Mrs. Charm’s work friends have brought cooked meals and lingered for morale-building visits. And, of course, the good family phone calls and emails keep rolling in.

We watched (and participated in) this process with one of Mrs. C.’s best friends, who died of a brain tumor several years ago, after lengthy, debilitating bouts of surgery, chemo and radiation. All to no avail. Her advice then was to accept all offers gratefully when first made. Because they might fade away as the well try to distance themselves from the unwell. Indeed, some who faded away were among her oldest friends.

Which is not criticism, really, just reality. The healthy understandably do not like being confronted with their own mortality which they know down deep inside is sure to get them, too, in the end. I think it’s somewhat easier for a combat veteran, having faced mortality every day for months at a stretch. It became a habit to think about it daily ever after.

I remember bringing jelly beans to a good guy dying of AIDS back in the 80s when I was reporting the epidemic for the daily. It pained him to chew and swallow the colorful bean-shaped candies but he’d always loved them and he wanted them at his end. He died a few days later, happier, I hope, for his last handfuls of jelly beans.

UPDATE: Twenty-two additional work friends plan to bring cooked meals and visit with Mrs. C, in a morale-building display of their affection for her.