Tag Archives: Iowahawk

The best location for zombie movies

Detroit, where else?

“Now Motor City is fighting again – as the world’s cheapest location shoot for zombie movies.”

That’s Iowahawk channeling Clint Eastwood in his supercilious Super Bowl ad. It’s called “A Fistful of Rebates,” and it’s a hoot.

Have the terrorists won? You betcha

One of several succinct commenters on this Reuters news article:

“The rag-heads won, didn’t they? We now have f-ing idiot security people in place who don’t think, invasion of our privacy, a huge organization that has not prevented a damn thing since they were created but have collected cuticle scissors, manicure sets and lots of bottled water and cola. Support no travel day. If successful then it should be upped to once a week. Defund TSA and put the money into research and profiling. Just because we are human doesn’t mean we can’t be smart.”

Ah, but the government doesn’t want us to be smart. Much easier to govern idiots. The connected just show their pass. The unwashed get the pat-down prostate exam.

UPDATE:  Iowahawk’s Ballad of TSA, Comply With Me:

“Comply with me, you domestic coach class bums
If you opt out I’ll just give a shout
To my icy-handed chums
Comply with me, bend over here it comes….

“Don’t crack wise or I’ll ruin your whole day
Please don’t frown when I pat you down
It alerts the CIA
It’s perfectly legal practice except at Gitmo Bay
Comply with me, comply comply
Comply with me, obey, obey, obey!”

Yes, I’m ready to be a right-wing villain

Why should Palin, Beck, Limbaugh and Boehner have all the fun being pilloried by the White House, and CBS, CNN and the other Obamalot court media? I always ask for plastic instead of paper or cloth. I never recycle, if I can help it. And I always ignore Tom Friedman columns. Please Mr. Iowahawk, give me a shot at villainy.

UPDATE:  Almost forgot. My piece de resistance. I favor the mosque near Ground Zero. But only if it is required to fly a giant Confederate battle flag.

Iowahawk on the Volt: Infantile ads

Nevermind the $41,000 pricetag. Government Motors’ new Chevy Volt irks car-nut Iowahawk just for its cheesy advertising. “See the U.S.A., etc.” this is not. Buy a Ford, he says, for better songs. Me, I’ll stick with Honda, and skip the ads altogether.

Why Coakley lost and Brown won

“Do No Blame Me”: The insider’s poop from Rosa Ortiz, former housekeeper for Caroline Kennedy, who is considering becoming a senator. “I hear there will be openings this fall.” Heh. Yes, very likely. And we can all thank Barry for so expeditiously exorcising the Democrat’s vampire incisors from our body politic. Thanks, Barry.

I mean, the U.N.’s Rat Pack of Evil had his number as long ago as May, ’09.

Plywood ducks instead of smeared poop

The GOP did it, too. But, unlike Barry’s minions, they didn’t try to enlist such NEA grantees as smeared-poop artists to promote their agenda. They went to Branson, MO, and enlisted the hillbillies:

"…whether your art is wind chimes or plywood ducks, all of you can leverage your talents to address the plight of the GOP community. While winning valuable federal prizes! For example, let’s say you’re playing the weekend buffet show at an Indian bingo casino. Why not slip in a positive plug for Halliburton, or a zinger against Nancy Pelosi? I’m sure [we] can find some NEA grant money to cover that as performance art. Another example — do we have any garden gnome-ists on the call?"

Indigenous, as opposed to "academic," art. Humor from the heartland. Iowahawk does it again.

Friedman sends for the Red Army

New York Times blowhard Tom Friedman wants a country of the elite, by the elite and for the elite. From his viewpoint, it makes good sense. He’s already got his. So, as Iowahawk says, Friedman has sent for a division of the Red Army to come take us over. They’ll leave him and his elite friends alone, of course. For a while, anyhow.