Yep, we’re ready to follow the new Green dictate on light bulbs. No more, uh, harmful bright incandescents. No, sirree, not for us. We’re not environmental baddies who want to harm the climate.
Give us those new mercury-filled, shadowy, compact fluorescent light bulbs any time. We’ll be sure to follow the government’s guidelines and shoo the children and pets out of the room should one ever break, spilling poisonous mercury on the furniture and the carpet.
Hey, we know it’s for the best. It’s for our own good here at the rancho. Our overpaid, undereducated career politicians in Congress and their toadies in the legacy media told us so. We’re in the very best of hands.
THE TEXAS SCRIBBLER 
There really is no need to be afraid of these new bulbs. The quantity of mercury is much less there than in an old-fashioned thermometer, of which I have “accidentally” broken quite a few to play with freed mercury.
The other problem is that these bulbs burn out much more frequently but cost several times more than the old-fangled ones…
Well, you obviously didn’t read the lengthy federal guidelines at the link. The government guidelines about shooing the kids and pets away, turning off the heat/ac, how to clean up, etc.
I’ve also played with free mercury, so I’m not afraid of the bulbs, but I wouldn’t want to breathe particles of it which a pet or a crawling baby might do with a spill. I’m just p’oed that the stupid government would outlaw perfectly good, cheap and reliable incandescents. I’m tempted to stock up on them until (as I expect) this madness is reversed by angry (and some of them hysterical) voters. Wait’ll all the women find out how sallow they look under fluorescent lighting.