Nope, Bullock’s hair doesn’t float enough

Which is just one of the several criticisms astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson makes in Twitter snippets about the new hit movie Gravity. I figure it was in her contract, so she could maintain her “star quality” beauty, even though she had cut it short to fit under the snoopy caps astronauts wear. On the other hand her wide, flabby butt is on display in the interior scenes and at the very end, so to speak. Tyson and I were both charmed that her tears float in micro-G. Out into your face, in fact, in 3D. And Tyson has other compliments.

Her hair was not my biggest criticism, after Mrs. Charm pushed me into going with her to see the flicker. My No. 1 problem (besides an intense dislike of sticky movie theater floors and farting in adjacent seats) was the phony orbital mechanics. The story has the human stars moving directly from the shattered shuttle to the ISS and Bullock by herself to the Chinese outpost. Couldn’t happen because the three craft would be in different orbits, at least scores of miles apart. Vertically apart, so to speak.

That’s a flaw Hollyweird would not be able to get away with if Tyson’s persistent lobbying for a doubling (at least) of NASA’s budget, and a solar-system-wide program of human exploration works out. I hope it does. Schoolkids would know, among other things, there are no straight-line journeys in the black because space is curved. But I’ve been hoping, unrequited, for more than perpetual low-orbit circles since 1980.

Overall, Gravity is impressive. Even great, in its way. Four stars. The space-and-earth scenes (compiled I expect from actual NASA, maybe even Russian, video) are astounding in 3D. The actors and the hardware lend perspective.

SPOILER ALERT: Mr. Boy, who saw it on his own, mocked Bullock’s lengthy bouts of hyperventilating. It was tiresome. I was pleased to see Clooney get it. I dislike his politics so much I almost refused to attend in the first place. So his “death” was a nice surprise.

I would have been more pleased if the director/producer had gone against the cliche (for once) and had the woman sacrifice herself for the man—if the beneficiary was anyone but Clooney. But Mrs. Charm said the audience would have never forgiven the man. She was right. Such is reality.