Category Archives: Rancho Roly Poly

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Happy Passover

Portable bacteria colonies

Liberal Austin has banned stores from giving away plastic bags to hold purchases. Are we proud? We’re Portland South now.

All those folks (like Mrs. Charm) who felt so superior toting their green canvas bags—Ann Coulter delightfully refers to them as portable bacteria colonies—to and from the grocery are now diminished by the fact that most everyone carries them.

Well, most everyone. Not me. I prefer to pay 25 cents (so far) at the grocery for one of their recyclable brown bags (actually made of plastic, but I’m not telling). When I get home, I just stuff them in the kitchen trash and, next time, buy another one.

I am considering buying a washable cotton string bag, though five for $32 at Amazon does seem pricey. Maybe I’ll even get a (ha-ha) plastic one. Since all the liberals want to emulate Europe so bad (even unto government bankruptcy, apparently), why not go whole hog and become a German hausfrau with a string bag? Then Ann won’t be able to laugh at them risking infecting their children with salmonella or, gasp, e. coli.

Today I am actually 69

I’ve been telling people all year I was 69. Now I will start telling them I’m 70.

Why, you may well ask. Beats me. I’ve done it this way all my adult life. Maybe I’m just an inveterate liar. If so, it comes with the territory.

Or maybe it’s supposed to be predictive. A superstition. As in if I say I’m a year older, then I’ll get to be a year older. Or something like that.

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!”

Grasshopper’s latest leap

SpaceX seems determined to develop a vertical takeoff and landing space rocket system, just like the ones in the old science fiction stories and movies.

In its latest test, just up the road from the rancho (note the ubiquitous Texas water tower), their Grasshopper rose to 80 meters on a tail of chemical flame, hovered for about 30 seconds, and then made a safe controlled landing. The controlled landing is the important part.

Here’s their good video of the event, set to the tune of an old Johnny Cash favorite. Note the cowboy-hatted figure on the base of the rocket, before the launch and after the landing, meant to represent Cash. Fire-proof, no doubt. Faster, please.

Weather Service page loses radar again!

Every time there’s severe storms in the Austin area, like there was last night, the National Weather Service can’t display its radar on the Web for long.

“Radar Data Are Temporarily Unavailable For This Location,” the page said as the storms moved in. Why, they even have a Radar Outage Notification Page. How convenient.

But I guarantee you when the sun is shining and no storms are upon us, the NWS radar on the Web is just fine. I just loves Big Government. All talk, and all taxes, but when it’s time to put up and go, they have got up and gone.

UPDATE:  Our power went out for about a minute. Got an inch of rain.

Feeling stupid

I finally did it. I backed the CRV into the closed garage door, hard enough to break all four glass windows and crack the wooden panels and punch them outward in three places. Of course now the door won’t open and until I can get an estimate on fixing it and have the work begun, I can’t get the car out of the garage.

Fortunately the Honda is not damaged. The covered spare tire that hangs off the rear door took the brunt of it. After long minutes of colorful cursing, I swept up the broken glass and called a company that worked on the door more than a decade ago for the previous owners. Was surprised to find they are still in business. They’re sending a guy out to look at it this morning.

There’s some comfort in knowing a lot of people do this. But not much.

UPDATE: Three carpenters refused to tackle it, saying it would be hard to ever again insure the structural integrity. And a fourth one, who looked promising, said, well, he could fix it but it might fall apart in half a year. And he added that it would a lot cheaper to buy a new metal door, and he might be able to get me a good price. So, we’re mulling it. Damn.

Gotta get a Glock?

So, I’m thinking of replacing my aging S&W .38 revolver with something newer. A semi-auto, for sure. Before the wackos pass a ban on them. I doubt they could but, then, I never thought Barry, the high-unemployment, food-stamp president, could be re-elected.

Since we’re talking home protection here, rather than range or carry, should I shop for stopping power or would that be, ahem, overkill? Maybe a 1911 like the one I carried in the Army, but spiffier in, say, all-black, or would a .32 Baretta be nicer? Smaller, for sure. Could do with a smaller gun safe.

Glocks just seem too trashy, too Saturday-night-specially. Or am I being prejudiced or something?

Meanwhile, it is to laugh that Barry & the Looners (sounds like a grunge band) are out to ban “assault rifles” and high-capacity mags. Heh. Go for it, morons, I say. It’s strictly feel-good legislation to make the Progressives think they’re getting closer to the totalitarianism they so crave.