Tag Archives: white-tailed deer

Those damn deer

I feel like a curmudgeon chasing children off the lawn when I yell or clap my hands to get four or five white-tailed deer off the front lawn. But, in addition to their poop, which accumulates, they are stupid enough to try to jump through a window as they did here. Our local pols, of course, are worthless. They have long refused to buck the Bambi/Greens crowd and do anything to get the deer out of the neighborhood.

Rampaging deer

Never a dull moment at the rancho. If the appliances aren’t failing, or the trees falling, then the white-tailed deer have broken into the back yard again. Indeed, the deer have returned, smashing their way through the makeshift lattice work I installed last summer to try to save money (always a big mistake) rather than fix the section of privacy fence that a falling tree eclipsed. The deer are hungry and thirsty of course. It’s cold and dry. And the juniper pollen in the air has kept me inside like the Prisoner of Zenda (if that’s not too obscure a reference these days), so I would not have known about the deer but for Mr. Boy’s sharp eyes this morning before he left for school. Of course they have eaten the antique roses to stems again. This time I have called in a carpenter to come replace the fence, but of course he can’t come until tomorrow. I believe I will invest in either a Wrist Rocket sling shot or a Red Ryder BB gun to harrass the deer in the meantime. Shooting anything more powerful–like a .38 for instance–is illegal in the city limits and the Bambi lovers would go berserk if their precious marauders were severely injured. Don’t need to be arrested or draw an animal rights demo out on the sidewalk. So patience is in order until the carpenter comes tomorrow morning.

UPDATE  The carpenter came, did his work, and for about $600 we have a new cedar privacy fence which should keep the deer out for good. The first one who tries to jump it will wind up hung up in a large shrub, but you never know. Bambi is used to roaming at will in our neighborhood protected by city law, too few animal control folks to do anything, and the morons who sprinkle corn on their lawns. Oh, well.

Pig hunts

ABC News seems to have discovered the Brush Country’s feral hogs, declaring them rampant in Texas.

"A million dangerous pigs are roaming Texas soil, challenging farmers and devouring their crops."

The million in the lede becomes millions in the sub head. Now that’s excitement, if innumerant.

Well, they’re pretty much confined to the South Texas brush, where hunting services like Brush Country Bowhunting charge no kill fees on hogs, or, for that matter deer, javelinas (a smaller feral hog cousin) "& other varmints." As in Missouri, where hogs also abound, hunting them requires no permit in Texas.

But the real problem, which is pretty much statewide, is white-tail deer, which not only eat crops, but wander suburban lawns eating ornamental plants. Hey, ABC, do an expose on the deer problem, which not only plagues Texas but even New Jersey, way up there in your own backyard.

No? Ugly hogs are expendable, but Bambi is too sweet? That’s why we have a deer problem.