How To Insult A Progressive

Come on, you know you want to. Pat Condell shows you how:

Carly the Texan

Try as they might, Yankeeland just can’t escape Texans running for president: Cruz, Jeb, Rand. But none of these three have the deep roots Carly boasts, even if she left her hometown of Austin at age two and eventually became a Californian.

Cara Carleton “Carly” Sneed Fiorina is a fifth-generation Texan, with a father who was a teenage cowboy in the Panhandle before he became a distinguished law professor and conservative federal judge, and at least a cousin who was also a judge in the 1860s and a Confederate provost marshal in Austin during the Civil War.

You won’t find that last reference in this revealing portrait of her roots by Austin’s daily, which is much nicer than you might expect from a Democrat newspaper in a Democrat town. I picked up that little detail on my own, when I got to know the Sneed family of the 19th century via their crumbling old home which, in the 1980s, still overlooked I-35 in South Austin. This good article explains.

Carly’s still my favorite of all the candidates. The only one I like as well is Dr. Carson.

Those hapless Horns

The terrible thing about Longhorns football these days is not just that they lose so often, but that they do it so boringly. Every time they get the football you just know they’re not going to do anything spectacular with it.

A Texas Tech team can almost beat TCU one week, then fall spectacularly to Baylor the next. The Horns almost beat Cal and the Little Okies and then roll over and play dead for TCU. They were scary bad.

Now all the fair-weather Horns fans want Charlie Strong’s head on a platter. But we know he’ll get another season to keep trying to turn things around. And he should. Just making their play less boring would help, Chuck. A few trick plays, maybe?

Saving Austin from the bums

Our bums lately are sometimes too busy staring at the screens of their smart phones to even hold up their begging signs. Tough life. But there’s hope right here in River City.

To be homeless in New York City today means three meals a day, a microwave oven, TV, free laundry, free Internet, free health care and a prepaid cell phone with 300 minutes a month. That was a few years ago. Maybe they have free laptops now. If that sounds like a better deal than most New Yorkers or tourists get, you’re right. It’s why bums from across the country and even the world have been flocking to the privileged life of a Big Apple bum.”

Oh, joy, Austin’s bums finally may have a bigger attraction. True, it’s colder up there in Yankeeland, but the summers ain’t near as hot. And they have pro sports for further entertainment.

Forget Go West. Go Northeast!

Via Sultan Knish.

The Great Divider

Not content with playing class warfare with his babble about the 99 percent vs the 1 percent, nor of constantly scolding white Americans for their alleged entrenched racism, our Barry Hussein went and criticized us before the UN. Again.

“Despite all the prosperity and peace his polices have led to [in his dreams], he said, some Americans still shamefully argue that ‘the only strength that matters for the United States is bellicose words and shows of military force.’ And they’re guided by an absolute opposition to China, Russia, Iran or Islam.”

His pals at the the Dictator’s Club (i.e. the UN) lately have declared war on, wait for it, violent video games. Which they claim are especially bad for women and girls. As usual, they have no criticism of honor killings, murders of Muslim women who “allow” themselves to be raped, and the way in which Muslim women and girls generally are treated like cattle. But, then, Barry doesn’t either.

Via New York Post

All You Modern Men: Prepare To Die

From the New York Times:

27 Ways To Be A Modern Man.

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Thus when the modern man is confronted by a mass murderer in a gun-free zone (the only sort of place he will frequent), he cannot defend himself or others. So he cries. Often. He cries when others die. He cries when it’s his turn to die.

Evolution has found him out. The rest of us will be better off without him. But the New York Times will have lost a subscriber.

Via Instapundit.

UPDATE:  Indeed, “Americans seem to be losing their martial spirit, their tendency to run toward the danger, guns in hand, rather than submit, bow their heads, and wait for the inevitable to consume them.”

Like the NYT’s wussy “Modern Man.”

Rule 5: Brye Anne Russillo


MMA fighter Brye Anne Russillo says her biggest handicap is her 50 pound breasts. They put her in a weight class that’s heavier than her actual body. Helps with the publicity, however. Of course it does.