As Lyle Lovette says: "No, you’re not from Texas. But Texas wants you anyway."
So, here’s what you do. Read the following aloud, with a measured cadence and a certain solemnity:
Commandancy of the Alamo
Bexar, Feby. 24th, 1836
To the People of Texas & all Americans in the World– Fellow
Citizens and Compatriots–
I am besieged by a thousand or more of the
Mexicans under Santa Anna–I have sustained a continual Bombardment &
cannonade for 24 hours & have not lost a man–The enemy has demanded a
surrender at discretion, otherwise the garrison are to be put to the
sword, if the fort is taken–I have answered the demand with a cannon
shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the walls–I shall never
surrender or retreat.
Then, I call on you in the name of Liberty,
of patriotism & everything dear to the American character, to come to
our aid with all despatch–The enemy is receiving reinforcements
daily & will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or
five days. If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain
myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets
what is due to his own honor & that of his country–Victory or Death.
William Barret Travis, Lt. Col. comdt.
(I left off the beeves and corn of the p.s. My precedent is what Barry is doing to the Defense budget in wartime.)