Tag Archives: Texana

Lonesome Dove

Barbara Ellen and me watched the conclusion of Lonesome Dove the other night, weeping at the appropriate parts because we’re both suckers for cinematic manipulation.

I thought the ending was weak but after all that came before it was acceptable. I still like the book better.

Rule 5: Cutoffs

cutoffs

Texana by Andy at MyOldRV

The 12th Man vs the 12th Imam

While they’re busy building nuclear bombs under an appeasing American president’s new agreement, the Iranian mullahs need to finally own up to a flaw in their theology.

Their hidden 12th Imam is a corruption, a foolish misunderstanding of the 12th Man at Texas A&M University. That’s why the 12th Imam is hidden. He’s a long way away from Iran.

Now that they’ll be getting all the nukes they want, plus billions of American dollars to help them buy conventional arms to keep up the terrorism they support worldwide, the least they can do is admit their theological mistake.

It’s time for them to bow to the superior Aggie concept of the 12th Man.

Rule 5: Body paint

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Body-painted waitresses in Lewisville, northwest of Dallas, upset a city council but provide us some relief from the mini-massacre in the Little Apple where Kansas State ran over Texas 23-0—the first Longhorns skunking since Oklahoma did it in 2004.  The game stunk, but the body-paint wins. And it sure beats ebola for Dallas-area news.

Texas entry requirements

J.D., over at Mouth of the Brazos, has a cool idea to help winnow out some of these refugees from the Democrat economy who keep flooding into Texas—especially, for me, the Californicators:

“I have been daydreaming lately about mandatory criteria to move to Texas. I would welcome any additions to my nascent list.

“1. Watch or read the mini-series or book series of Lonesome Dove. Written, closed-book, exams will be done at the driver’s license bureau. If you make less than 50% on the quiz – no license.”

My suggested “No. 2. Explain the history of the Revolution, especially the timeline of the Alamo and Travis’s letters, and have the Victory or Death one memorized. Extra points for timelines of Goliad and San Jacinto. Less than 80% – no license.”

Any other suggestions out there?

UPDATE:  Here’s one newcomer who can skip these requirements. Considering that Toyota is bringing its own jobs along.

Big hats

Andy at MyOldRv works in the South Texas sun, so he needs a big hat to keep his nose, ears and neck from getting blistered. Doesn’t look pretentious on him. Not like the guys you see hereabouts playing Cowboys without the Indians.

“I prefer a Resistol 8 or 10X shantung panama hat from the George Strait collection in 7 3/8 long oval size.  Sounds muy complicated but it really ain’t. Once you settle up on the right size, you just gotta get up off that pocket book and decide how many X’s of quality suit you.  That is why I tell ya to buy a feed store hat for starters.  Most of ‘em are going to be less than $30 bucks and you get to test drive it right on your head.”

He prefers to buy used straws now, off Ebay, if you can imagine it. His wife says they probably sell them mostly to Yankees who use them for decor.

Last straw I bought was back in the ’80s when I traveled around Texas a lot. I went out to the garage, where it now hangs, decor-like, to see what it was. A 7 5/8 long-oval Bangora, made in Conroe, sold at Allen’s Boots on South Congress.

Allen’s is way too expensive now, catering as it does to the tourists. I moved to ball caps long ago anyhow. But if I did spend a lot of time in the Texas sun I’d be buying feed-store straws for sure. Maybe even used ones off Ebay!

Robo-Longhorn

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In case you’re wondering, the blog’s new header pix is cropped from this photo of mine of a unique piece of sculpture on private property a few miles outside Johnson City on the way west to Fredericksburg.

It’s a ginormous thing made of various metal thingies, some of them chromed. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn it has been the cause of a few accidents. Drivers passing it for the first time must be so distracted by it that they could cross the center line into oncoming traffic or else wind up in the bar ditch on the shoulder.

UPDATE:  It may have been moved to South Austin, or else duplicated by some ambitious person there, according to this.