Category Archives: Mrs. Charm

Pumpkin’s illness

Back in the mid-1980s, I was assigned to cover the local AIDS epidemic. I got used to reading, talking and writing about HIV and its impact on people, usually gay men, but sometimes straight men and women. I got to know a few of them well, and went to their funerals.

Thursday, taking our new furry friend Pumpkin/Garfield to the vet for a checkup, I learned that he has Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, the cat version of HIV. It cannot infect humans and is spread between cats primarily by bites. According to Wikipedia, it is estimated to have thus far stricken a mere 4.4 percent of the cats in the world. According to some web sites on cats, Senor Gato has a maximum of five years to live.

While Mr. Boy and I already were working on keeping our new companion indoors, for our sake as well as his own, we now must do it, according to the vet, to keep him from spreading the disease to other cats in the neighborhood.  And for his own protection since a common bacterial or viral infection that a healthy cat might fight off quickly could kill one, like him, with a damaged immune system. His own litter box could kill him if it isn’t kept clean.

Ironic, to be sure. Having recently lost Mrs. Charm to advanced cancer we have now returned to caring for the dying. And, eventually, to grieving the loss of another loved one. It seems to be the way of our world.

A gift of grace

When Mrs. Charm was still with us, in the last few days of her life, a big orange cat started hanging out on the patio outside our bedroom where she was going through what the hospice nurses called “active dying” from her spreading cancer.

The dying had a smell. It reminded me of burnt embers, like a camp fire that was going out. A nurse said she’d never thought of that similarity. I had seen animals attracted to human death before so I wasn’t particularly surprised at the cat’s presence.

But it stayed, spending the next several weeks sleeping away the mornings in a chair on the patio, presumably after a hard night of hunting squirrels. Haven’t seen a squirrel in the Back Forty in a long time, so ginger is a good ‘un.

I started feeding the cat at the suggestion of Mr. Goon, my cat-loving friend in Israel. Dry cat food. Leaving a bowl of water beside it. Then, last week, animal lover that I am not, I finally broke down and invited Mr. Cat into the house.

He (or she, we haven’t determined yet) explored every room. Including Mr. B’s where he was still asleep after a late night of Xboxing. The only thing the cat seemed interested in was Mrs. C’s dressing table. It jumped up on the bench, glanced in the big mirror, turned around and hopped down. I let it out and it wandered off and I forgot about it.

Saturday morning the cat was back, as usual. After a little consideration, I asked Mr. B. what he thought about the idea of encouraging it to stay. He was willing to give it a try. I invited the cat in again. Another exploration ensued but, this time, the cat curled up on the rug in the family room and went to sleep. Mr. B. calls it Garfield ’cause it looks like the cartoon cat

Saturday night I bought a litter box, which seemed to please the cat. Its inspection of the box and its litter prompted a lengthy session of ankle rubbing. Then I took pictures of the cat with the phone and sent them to various people, including Mr. Goon. Obviously not an alley cat, he replied, probably an abandoned house cat. Others were pleased at the idea of us having a new pet after our big loss.

Then Mrs. C’s best friend, who had known her since high school, replied with “Wow, the first thing I said when I saw this pic is ‘Pumpkin!’ [Mrs. C.] had a cat like this one long ago.”

I asked Mr. Cat if his name was Pumpkin. Of course I did. He glanced at me. When I asked again, he meowed. I’ll take that for something close to affirmation. I thanked him for coming. And, hopefully, staying.

He’s a hunter, so I expect him (or her) to stay out nights. But, these days, I’m usually up at dawn, anyway, so I’ll be able to let him back in where he can sleep it off in comfort and security. And keep us happier than we’ve been in a while, with our new gift of grace.

Bitter cold

The wind chill, that is, somewhere around 30 at dawn today with a light rain. Which is about 40 degrees below what it was around noon yesterday, when I was the prisoner of a car dealership while trying to get Mrs. C.’s Altima safety inspected before updating its registration.

Had earlier discovered the battery was dead (after months of sitting in the garage unused) and so had to wait for AAA to arrive and replace it. Then, after almost two hours at the dealership, I was informed that the safety inspection could not be completed.

Seems Nissan’s new-fangled (well, 2007 in this case) computer system can’t set itself and its multiple safety systems anew after a battery change until about 60 miles have rolled over the odometer. Ain’t automotive progress just wonderful?

At least we haven’t had any flooding yet. But it’s supposed to keep raining all day.

Penny from heaven

A good friend of Mrs. Charm, hitting a bar for a stiff one after Mrs. C’s memorial gathering the other night, says she saw a streak of light and a shiny, new 2015 penny at her table that wasn’t there before.

It fits with these older sayings and, even a book, none of which negate her experience. They rather enhance it, to my mind. But then she and I are both believers in the soul, whatever the atheist materialists of modern science say.

Which helps, I suppose. As do these popular offerings.

The Purloined Cameo

I’ve been gathering Mrs. C.’s jewelry in their various boxes to put in one to offer a chance to her best girlfriends, her mother and aunt, my sisters and nieces to take a piece or two to remember her by.

In the course of which I also gathered the pieces I want to save for Mr. B., including some he might someday want to present to his wife. But one of them, an ivory cameo hung like a pendant on a chain which I wanted to keep for myself, was missing.

Couldn’t figure out where it could have gone. Searched and searched. I know she wore it occasionally. So where was it? Finally gave up. Then not thinking about it at all, I finally saw it, draped over a framed photograph on the wall.

Like Poe’s “Purloined Letter” it had been “hidden” in plain sight all along.

Our new tabby

Came home from fiddle lesson to find a big orange and white tabby cat asleep on one of the patio chairs. I seem to remember seeing him (her?) lurking around the back forty the last few days.

When I saw him (her?) in the chair, my first, irreverent thought was: Debra, you came back as a cat? I seem to be getting over the shock of losing her. Though not the fact of it.

UPDATE:  Like Garfield, Mr. B. said. Like that, yes.

Debra Ann Davis Stanley, Rest In Peace

A woman of valor, who can find?

She is more precious than fine pearls.

Her husband trusts in her and so he lacks nothing.

She does him good, never harm, all the days of her life.

She perceives that her labor is rewarding, her candle burns into the night.

She reaches out to those in need, and extends her hands to the poor.

She is clothed in strength and dignity, she faces the future cheerfully.

She speaks with wisdom, the law of kindness is on her lips.

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband sings her praises.

Many daughters have done valiantly, but you exceed them all.

An adaptation of Proverbs 31 from the Hebrew.