Category Archives: Texas Football

My touchdown celebration favorite

Posted on October 24, 2014 | 2 comments

Malcolm Brown, star running back for the Texas Longhorns and by all accounts a really nice guy, gets my vote for the most ingenious way of celebrating touchdowns. In particular one that doesn’t risk drawing a celebration or taunting penalty of lost yardage for his team.

Some touchdown makers leap and spin. Some throw a punch to the ground or to the air. Some salute the crowd or point to heaven as if to thank the lord. Some make a mock pulling open of their shirt as if to reveal their Superman costume underneath.

Malcolm’s is simpler and far more elegant: he uses his fingers to deftly brush imaginary lint or grass off his chest, as if to show that it really wasn’t all that hard. It’s always worth a smile.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, he didn’t get one against K-State. None of them did, in their first skunking in a decade. Call it the mini-massacre in the Little Apple, 23-0. Uncomfortably reminiscent of A&M’s 79-0 beatdown by Alabama. Yipes!

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Posted in Texana, Texas Football

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The Massacre in Tuscaloosa

Posted on October 19, 2014 | Comments Off on The Massacre in Tuscaloosa

Some Longhorns fans (even, apparently, Johnny Manziel) are laughing about the Ags getting skunked 59-0 by Alabama on Saturday. I prefer to see them do well in the SEC, representing Texas the way they do. This ain’t doing well, Kevin, after previous losses to the Mississippis. Time to make some position changes.

On the other hand, it was heartening to see Texas QB Tyrone Swoopes throw two cold-bloodedly-accurate long balls to set up the game-winning field goal against Iowa State, 48-45, in the last seven seconds. A tune-up for next week against K-State, Iowa State was not, however. We could see a massacre in Manhattan, home of the new Sooner killers. At least the Horns won’t get skunked. I hope.

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Posted in Blogosphere, Texana, Texas Football

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Texas-Oklahoma

Posted on October 11, 2014 | Comments Off on Texas-Oklahoma

Probably not going to see a repeat of last year’s upset victory for the Longhorns this morning and afternoon.

The Texas defense is better but they just don’t have much of an offense. Almost none, in fact. So even the daily’s sportswriters don’t expect another upset of the 14– 17-point favorite Sooners.

We’ll probably do best hoping the Zeros don’t run away with it.

UPDATE:  They didn’t, unless you count the pick six and the kick return that helped give them 31 to the Longhorns’ 26, which was all offense for a change.

So the Horns do better (winning the statistics, at least) but still lose, mainly because of too many penalties and other mistakes such as the third-game-in-a-row fumble at the goal line costing a touchdown. They have now won two cupcake games and lost four against ranked teams for a 2-4 season. And it seems likely to get worse with the six games remaining. Half are against ranked teams.

Bye-bye ranking. Bye-bye bowl game.

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Posted in Texana, Texas Football

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Longhorns fans: Say your prayers

Posted on September 13, 2014 | 2 comments

I’ve been waiting all week to see if the daily’s sportwriters would ask Coach Metaphor why he just sat back and waited for his players to voluntarily spend some extra time watching film of BYU. Still hadn’t happened by Friday,this morning.

Like why he didn’t order them to do it, put up a roster for them to sign after doing it. I mean, what did he do other than put exhorting signs up in the locker room? Spend his time at the mall?

I have a bad feeling about the UCLA game tonight, as I think most Longhorns fans do. The Dallas Morning Snooze has already predicted worse luck for the Texas offense than the 41-7 drubbing they got from BYU. Wouldn’t surprise me a bit.

But I’ll say a few prayers and hope for better.

UPDATE:  Swoopes was much better this week until the 4th quarter pressure was on him and then UCLA won it late 20-17. (Unfortunately, he is no Kenny Hill.) Even with their star QB out injured, the Bruins had a penetrating ground game the Longhorns’ defense just couldn’t stop.

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Posted in Texana, Texas Football

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Rule 5: Casey Simpson

Posted on September 7, 2014 | 2 comments

Casey1

Casey is a running back in something called the Lingerie Football League in Canada, an excuse to watch voluptuous young women run around in costumes skimpy enough to make a Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleader blush.

Casey fills her’s out quite nicely in the video at the link. She also might be able to help the Texas Longhorns gain some yardage on UCLA on Saturday by distracting them from their business. At least she’d be easy on the eyes.

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Posted in Rule 5, Texas Football, The Culture

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The sorriest Texas football team evah

Posted on September 6, 2014 | Comments Off on The sorriest Texas football team evah

Crushed, for the second year in a row by unranked BYU, 41-7. Worse, in fact, than last year when they at least put up 20 points. Backup QB Tyrone Swoopes didn’t make any terrible mistakes but he didn’t do anything terribly good, either.

And the Texas defense, well, they gave up 41 points—28 of them in the third quarter. Ranked UCLA will probably walk all over the Longhorns next week. At least they can beat Kansas (the doormat of the Big 12) the following week. Probably. Maybe.

But I doubt if anyone sane will bet on it.

UPDATE:  Not that it matters but it’s amusing that new coach Charlie Strong has a tendency to lapse into nonstandard English when he’s under pressure.

“They don’t have nothing to do with the way we played tonight,” Strong said of the two starters and one benchwarmer he suspended for rules violations before the game. Well, he is from Arkansas.

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Posted in Obituaries, Texana, Texas Football

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Horns Down

Posted on September 2, 2014 | Comments Off on Horns Down

Texas QB David Ash’s play against North Texas was pedestrian at best and now we know why. He told the coaching staff later that night he was head-achy and dizzy and he thought it had begun on the first hit he took from a North Texas defender—a shoulder to the head early on. He was sacked twice later.

Now Ash is out, at least for the BYU game Saturday, possibly for good, with his third concussion in a year, and the future is on the young shoulders of sophomore backup Tyrone Swoops who coach Charlie Strong says will start against BYU. Swoops didn’t live up to his promise last year, but he had few opportunities to play long enough to get in any kind of rhythm.

For now we can only be pessimistic about the Horns’ chances against BYU and its dynamic QB Taysom Hill. Not to mention UCLA the following week and the Big 12’s heavy hitters to come, Baylor and Oklahoma. But if the much-improved Texas defense can hold Hill off, and Swoops shows more of the poise and strength he did last year (quite belying his final stats), the “Horns Down” now could turn Up for the future. Good luck, Tyrone!

Via Burnt Orange Nation.

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