Andyj of MyOldRV gives the up (the money) and the down (the snakes, for starters) about oil field gate guarding in South Texas, which seems to be coming back into vogue with the Trump economy.
“‘Never step where you can’t see bare ground!’ What you gotta do is stay out of the brush and tall grass because them buzztails are hidin’ rascals! Keep ALL the area around the RV and Service Trailer down to bare ground. Your service guy most likely has a weedeater and I keep things clean with weedkiller spray. One other thing is to put a light under the RV that shines on the underneath and out on your front steps and porch. Thataway when you step out at night you can see. In seven years I have not been on a single ranch that did not want me to kill every rattlesnake I saw but you still need to ask the ranch manager. I tell folks to get a long handle hoe and keep it on hand by the door outside so you can chop ’em up at some distance. Me myself, I use a heavy walking stick. I pin their head with the stick and then reach down with my knife and whack it off. You do have a knife in your pocket, right?”
“At 4:14am this morning, the driveway alarm jangled me out of a deep sleep. Vela Von and I snapped to and peeped out the window ’cause you just don’t rush out the door helter skelter at that hour if you are smart.”
In which AndyJ of MyOldRV surprises an intruder up to no good.
It’s the Hound of the Puckerbrush, and there’re no moors of any type down there with Andy in dryland southwest Texas. Nor is Sherlock Holmes lurking about on this Halloween night. And, lucky for Andy, in all probability no clowns neither.
Just another good essay on life as an oil field gate guard with a new dog and a whole year’s relief from “a worthless harridan,” which you could look up in his search function. Libel suits are not my thing.
As for the clowns, they are one reason I’m not enthusiastic about handing out candy this year and will keep the porch lights off here at the rancho. Yes, there have been a few clown sightings hereabouts, not specifically in our neighborhood but in the general geography. If one of them is going to get shot, this will be the night.
The presidential fandango is purely weird enough. Let’s hope for no shootings.
I’ve thought occasionally about using Amazon’s Prime Pantry food deliveries. But being just five minutes from an HEB makes it seem rather silly. Andy’s experience shows it could be more than silly:
“By the time it gets way off down here in the Puckerbrush a good half these cans are dented up and that box ‘o’ Pop Tarts looks like somebody been throwing a baseball at it. Just the way it is I reckon since I never recall receiving one single Prime Pantry box that somethin’ wasn’t boogered up.”
Hmm. This obviously requires some more thought.
“My flower garden ain’t much to look at huh? Under the drip from the fresh water fill on the NO Princess Palace gives it just that teeeny edge necessary to survive in this harsh environment. I got an irritating habit of forgetting the water is on when I fill the tank and many times there is some blow by. The wildflowers herald the start of Spring down here in South Texas and today was the first day to swap over to the summer uniform.”
Meaning shorts, vented shirt and closed-toe sandals. I’m surprised we’re actually ahead on the wildflowers and me on the shorts. Might want to try a vented shirt once the heavenly broiler gets turned up, but that’s a few months away yet.
Via Andy at MyOldRV
Gun trainer Cooper advocated carrying a Colt 1911 with the .45 ACP cartridge. But smaller prey could do just fine with a smaller hand gun, a .32 or even a .22, equipped with a laser sight. The main thing is to practice your aim regularly at a range. And to stay out of the gun-free zones championed by our idiot-in-chief Barry Hussein and his would-be successor Ma Barker.
Andy’s off his Central Texas vacation and back gate-guarding again in Webb County (which includes the streets of Laredo), in the far South Texas Puckerbrush:
“It has been 100+ every day since we [him and Tuco the dog] got here and the weatherman is just sayin’ more more MORE! It is what it is I reckon.”