Category Archives: Texas Football

Those hapless Horns

The terrible thing about Longhorns football these days is not just that they lose so often, but that they do it so boringly. Every time they get the football you just know they’re not going to do anything spectacular with it.

A Texas Tech team can almost beat TCU one week, then fall spectacularly to Baylor the next. The Horns almost beat Cal and the Little Okies and then roll over and play dead for TCU. They were scary bad.

Now all the fair-weather Horns fans want Charlie Strong’s head on a platter. But we know he’ll get another season to keep trying to turn things around. And he should. Just making their play less boring would help, Chuck. A few trick plays, maybe?

Kicker Nick Rose lost it

He missed the PAT that would have tied the game. After QB Jerrod Heard’s heroic rushing touchdown with under two minutes to play. What a shame.

Cal 45, Texas 44.

Still, the best game I’ve seen Texas play in years. Good on ya, Horns!

“Cool under pressure, Heard’s legs and precision passing were a huge positive for a team that never gave up despite struggling mightily during the third quarter.”—Wescott Eberts, SB Nation.

Coach Charlie Strong: “Our team grew up tonight.” Indeed they did.

(As usual, a great many of the fair-weather Texas fans left when the Horns were down 21 points—before they got all but Rose’s one of them back. It’s an old story that has nothing to do with fired AD Patterson. Shame on you all.)

UPDATE:  Heard broke Vince Young’s rushing 2005 showcase record (527 vs 506) and played a lot like Colt McCoy used to. Could these Longhorns run the table on the Big 12? Dreamin’ big.

Steve Patterson: Hatchet Man

My old friend Marcos the barber has the best take I’ve heard yet on why Texas athletic director Steve Patterson was fired today. Marcos, a devoted Longhorns fan, figures they hired Patterson to impose a long list of changes, take the heat for all of it and then be fired for it, making the university look innocent. With a bonus, in addition to his guaranteed $1.4 million  a year through 2019.

Among other things, Patterson cleared the basketball and football decks of white head coaches and hired black head coaches for what are, after all, mostly black teams: Shaka Smart and Charlie Strong. He also raised ticket prices at the football stadium, instituted sales there of beer and cleared some of the deadwood donors from their box seats to make room for new, richer blood. None of which changes are likely to be reversed, according to Marcos, since they are undoubtedly what the U. wanted all along.

“Arrogant, uncaring, humorless,” the daily’s Kirk Bohls describes Patterson. In other words the perfect hatchet man. If you ever read it in the local snooze media just remember you saw it here first. Courtesy of my friend Marcos.

Thank you, Jerrod Heard

The new Texas QB, a so-called redshirt freshman who actually is a sophomore, used his debut Saturday night to remind us Longhorns fans what a real QB looks like after too many months of tired old Tyrone.

Jerrod’s juice, as coach Charlie Strong called it, or spark, or what have you jump-started UT’s moribund offense, so much that even special teams got into the act. The defense, despite some very bright spots, still needs work. But it was a good start. Rice 28, Texas 42.

Texas tweak

Booting play-caller Shawn Watson in favor of new one Jay Norvell may not be enough to solve the Longhorns’ abysmal play in its past three games. Starting backup QB Jerrod Heard instead of ever-dismal QB Tyrone Swoopes might not either.

But the QB switch has to come and Watson’s incredible refusal to give RB J. Gray the ball more than eight times against Notre Dame was simply inexcusable. Gotta give coach Charlie Strong credit for trying something to put some backbone into his new cream-puff team with the worst offense in college football.

Classless Notre Dame

Damn cheaters. Not content with beating the Horns, 17-0 at the half, they had to cheat ’em out of a field goal. Classless m’f**kers.

Twice their classless head coach called a last-few-seconds timeout—from the sidelines where the Horns on the field couldn’t see him—seconds before the Horns snapped the ball for a field goal try. Both times the ball went through the uprights. But they were no good because of the timeout calls. The last time, when the cheaters had no more timeouts to call in the last few seconds, the kicker missed.

They’re called the Fighting Irish. When 95 percent of their team is African American. Not an Irishman in the bunch. What a sham. And they’re cheaters, too!

UPDATE:  ND, whose classless coach Brian Kelly may be the only real Irishman on the field, won 38-3. Texas looked like 2014: a mediocre defense, a porous offensive line and a quarterback who couldn’t connect with his receivers, 7/22, even when they could get open. And 3-yard running backs just ain’t gonna cut it. Charlie Strong has served up another cream-puff team. Stinkeroo!

MORE:  The daily’s Kirk Bohl’s might not agree with everything I wrote here about ND’s Kelly, but he did call Kelly’s timeout calls “very rude” and added “I just hate the rule that allows coaches to call a timeout just nanoseconds before the ball is snapped. I’d alter the rule and force coaches to ask for a timeout before the center grabs the ball. Just patently unfair to kickers.” No kidding.

Next up at Texas: A black athletic director

I have nothing against Texas hiring a black (actually very pale) basketball coach whose given name Shaka gave it all away before I saw his pix. Most of the players are black (of one color or another), after all. Likewise the football players who now have a black (quite a bit less pale) coach.

But since Texas now obviously is into the PC game, it’s about time all those black athletes had someone who looks like them in the front office. So when is white (actually pinkish) athletic director Steve Patterson (who hired both new coaches) going to step down in favor of a black (pale or dark) athletic director?

If you said never, you’d be close. Even PC has to stop somewhere, eh Steve?